First RAF Plane shot down in World War Two

One thing about doing research for a historical novel, you stumble onto a lot of unusual trivia and little known facts along the way. I was recently taken aback to discover that the first plane shot down by an RAF Spitfire…. was an RAF hurricane! You can’t make this stuff up!

The Battle of Barking Creek was technically the first air battle of World War II. It all happened on 6 September 1939, just three days into the war. The British Expeditionary Force (BEF) had not even taken their positions in France and Belgium. They would not be engaged by the German Wehrmacht until 10th may, 1940. Dunkirk was almost a year away.

A report came through to RAF Fighter Command that unidentified aircraft had been seen flying over the Essex coast, just north of London. Six Hurricanes were scrambled from 56 Squadron nearby. Two Pilot Officers, eager to be in the fray, jumped into two reserve aircraft and also joined the Hurricanes. Hurricanes from 151 Squadron, and three Squadrons of Spitfires were also scrambled.

Now, let’s take a moment here and look at the larger picture. This happened three days after declaring war on Germany. It was the first ‘action’ that anyone had seen. We had eager pilots, little training, no dog-fighting experience, and very primitive communications. We also had a bunch of pilots who wouldn't recognize a German aircraft if there had been pictures of Hitler on the wings! Everyone expected to see enemy aircraft, but had little training in recognition.

Enter the two Pilot Officers and their ‘reserve’ aircraft with no comms, flying around, looking for the rest of 151 Squadron.

Spitfires from 74 Squadron saw the hurricanes, and dived to intercept. One Hurricane (Pilot Officer Frank Rose) was hit, but the pilot survived. The second was not so lucky; Pilot Officer Montague Hulton-Harrop was shot down and killed  near Ipswich. Hulton-Harrop was the first Pilot to be killed in the three day old war, a casualty of so-called "friendly fire". His Hurricane was also the first plane to be shot down by a Spitfire.

Oh, and the original report of aircraft over Essex? It turned out to be a false alarm.

Inchkeith Island; Edinburgh's Historical Thorn (Part 2)

The invasion of the Channel Islands (Jersey, Guernsey, Alderney, Sark and four smaller islands) by the Nazis in 1940 caused consternation in Churchill’s war cabinet. But these English Islands, sited just twenty miles from the French coast just could not be defended. Over one hundred miles from English soil, they had to be forgotten; one of the unspoken military surrenders.
But four hundred years earlier, the Island of Inchkeith, situated just five miles offshore from Edinburgh, became a huge military thorn in Edinburgh’s side, and remained so for many generations.
In the 16th century, at the time of the ‘Rough Wooing’ (King Henry the Eighth’s Guerilla war against the Scots) Inchkeith was garrisoned by the English Edward Seymour, the Earl of Somerset. He invaded the island in 1547 after the Battle of Pinkie Cleugh. But don’t think they just visited, and stayed for a few days to wave some nice-looking flags at the sight-seers in Leith.... His marines reinforced the island, living there for many years, building a large square fort with corner towers, finished in 1564, on the site of the present day lighthouse. “The wall and rampart was 30 feet thick, being 14 feet of stone behind 16 feet of earth.” (A French soldier, Jean de Beaugué, described how the building works were visible from Leith in June 1548. De Beaugué wrote that four companies of English soldiers and a company of Italians were ordered to help the English workmen, who were seen as pioneers not soldiers.)
Can you imagine the people of Edinburgh, watching the erection of an enemy fort, just five miles from their capital city, and witnessing their government doing nothing to oppose it? But it only gets worse. English admiral, Edward Fiennes de Clinton, anchored his fleet at Inchkeith in August 1548. His task was to prevent sea traffic in the Forth and the security of the English at the siege of Haddington.
Questions abound.
The sleepy Toon of Haddington, held by the English was besieged? Yup it was.
The English blockaded the Forth Estuary? Really?
Yes, it all happened; Admiral Clinton reported destroying 38 ships on 9 August 1548. French galleys lay off Burntisland, filled with French troops ready for insertion into the fray. The sleepy dales of East Lothian had suddenly become the epicenter of the battlefield of Europe. Quiet towns like Dunbar, Aberlady, and Pinkie were bloody encounters in the confused times.
Ultimately, as winter approached, the English garrison in Haddington had to withdraw, but at one point over fifteen nationalities had fought around Haddington; Germans, Italians, Spanish, Hessians, Frenchmen, and… yes, even an Albanian division. Mary of Guise, the Regent of her daughter, Mary Queen of Scots, ultimately chased the English back over the border, but of course, nothing could be attempted against Inchkeith until spring/summer.
In June, 1549, the English garrison was ejected by a combined Franco-Scottish force under General D’Essé; Scots, French and Germans charged a group of English and Italians, who’d made a stand on the summit of the island. On the following day, Mary of Guise, visited the island, to see the "three and four hundred of her dead foes still unburied". Seven English banners captured on the island were sent to Henri II of France. On 17 July 1549, he gave the soldiers who brought the banners lifetime pensions.
A Scots/French garrison would occupy the island for many years. In 1560, during the Siege of Leith, there were “140 French soldiers with 70 women, boys and laborers” on the island. In the 1560’s as Mary Queen of Scots came to power, she maintained a presence on the island and it is reported that a cannonade from the island bombarded the English vessel The Aide in September 1565, as it tried to blockade Leith. But in 1567, after Mary’s execution by her cousin Queen Elizabeth of England, the fort on the island was demolished. Stone removed from stone; the last time the island would be used in war.
As a ten-year-old boy I visited the island in 1969, and walked the grassy surfaces unaware of such a turbulent history. I took photographs of my mother and father, reclining on the bloodied grass. Today, it is owned by ‘Kwik Fit’ millionaire Tom farmer. With the lighthouse totally automated, permission is required to land on the island.

For the first part of the History of Inchkeith, go here;
http://ianhallauthor.blogspot.com/2013/07/inchkeith-edinburghs-own-island-of.html
The staggering macabre beginnings of the island... Scotland's own Island of Doctor Moreaux.

K (Kalamity) -class Submarines, and the Battle of May Island

(Submarines K12 and K14 in dock)

The K-class of submarine, designed in 1913, and ordered by the Royal Navy in 1915, has such a tragic history, that readers may wonder how the crews had the courage to go on board one, never mind go to sea. They soon had the nickname of Kalamity-class vessels.
The submarines were steam driven, and had two funnels to emit the smoke of their coal furnaces. When diving, the funnels were closed, a supposedly water-tight seal.
They were over 300 feet long (the length of a football field), but could only dive to a depth of 200 feet.
Plagued by problems from the outset, only one K-class actually engaged the enemy; ramming a U-boat when its torpedo tube jammed.
Here are some details of their chequered history (in number order);
HMS K1; In 1917 K1’s squadron was on patrol in the North Sea, led by the light cruiser Blonde, then submarines K1, K3, K4, and K7.
(The same formation, so tragic at the Isle of May incident)
HMS Blonde turned sharply to avoid three cruisers which crossed her bows, which caused confusion amongst the following submarines and while K1 was maneuvering, seawater poured into the boiler room through the open funnels and put the boiler fires out. The loss of steam pressure caused the submarine to slow down and although K3 just missed her, K4 struck a blow alongside K1’s conning tower which pierced the hull.
Seawater poured into the control room and reached the batteries under the floor causing a buildup of chlorine gas. The damaged submarine signaled to HMS Blonde that she was sinking and the 56 crew of the submarine were transferred to the cruiser using the cruiser's two rowboats. It was decided that K1 could not be saved and so she was sunk by gunfire from the cruiser.
HMS K2; had an inauspicious start. In January 1917, she was damaged by an explosion and fire during her first diving trials.
On 11 January 1924, K2 collided with K12 as they departed from Portland Harbour. K2 smashed a hole in the forward casing of K12 and buckled her bows for about 6 feet.
On 7 November 1924, K2 collided with H29 during exercises.

(Submarine K3, around 1919)

HMS K3; was the first to be built, and sailed 4th August, 1916. In December of that year, at sea with a young future King George VI (Queen Elizabeth II’s father) on board, it dived under the waves of its own accord, a dive so sharp, that its bow rammed the muddy sea floor at 150ft, and its stern raised out of the water, with its propellers above the waterline. It took the surrounding craft twenty minutes to get the craft off the sea floor, and back to the surface.
A month later, on 9th January, 1917, K3’s boiler room was flooded in the North Sea when sea water got inside the funnels (a common problem in K-class submarines).
In November 1917, K3 was involved with an incident with the 4th Light Cruiser Squadron that led to the sinking of the K1.
On 2 May 1918, K3 yet again uncontrollably dived to 266 feet which crushed part of the hull.
HMS K4; On 17 November 1917, K4 collided with sister ship K1 (story told above).
K4 ran aground on Walney Island, near Morcambe.

(Submarine K-14, aground near Morcambe)

K4 sank on 31 January 1918 during the night time fleet exercises later known as the Battle of May Island (Operation E.C.1) when she was attached to the 13th Submarine Flotilla. While attempting to avoid a collision with K3, she became the victim of collisions with K6 and K7. She sunk with all hands.
HMS K5; surviving the war, K5 was lost with all hands when she sank en route to a mock battle in the Bay of Biscay.
K5 left Torbay on 19 January 1921 with the K8, K10, K15 and K22 for a mock battle in the Bay of Biscay. All 57 men aboard were lost on 20 January about 120 mi (190 km) south-west of the Scilly Isles . She had signaled that she was diving but she did not surface at the end of the exercise. After a battery cover and a sailor's "ditty box" were recovered, it was presumed that she had somehow gone past her maximum depth.
HMS K6; was the first of the K class to have its bows raised by converting it into a bulbous swan shape. In 1917, K6 refused to surface during a submerged trial in North Dockyard, Devonport.
At the Battle of May Island, she was responsible for ramming K4 and slicing her in half.
HMS K7; was involved in the accident when the K1 sank. She was also involved in the battle of May Island exercise. K7 was damaged in the exercise by running over the sinking K4.
HMS K8, K9, and K10; Amazingly they had no blemishes in their Royal Navy Career.
HMS K11; In 1917, K11 was damaged by fire during a North Sea patrol. She was forced to surface and was towed by a destroyer. K11 was part of the disastrous Battle of May Island exercise. She was forced to take avoiding action to avoid K14, but survived the exercise.

(Submarine K-12, with the new bow shape)

HMS K12; took part in the Battle of May island, surviving the disastrous exercise. Then in 1924, K12 collided with the aforementioned K2. K2 smashed a hole in the forward casing of K12 while K2 buckled her bows for about six feet.
HMS K13; In 1917, during sea trials in Gairloch, heavy seas damaged one of the funnels and water had nearly flooded her engine room. The damage was repaired but the next day she sank. She had 80 people on board - 53 crew, 14 employees of the shipbuilders, five sub-contractors, five Admiralty officials, a River Clyde pilot, and the captain and engineering officer from the still-completing K14. 32 crew died in the accident and 48 were rescued.
After getting the submarine to the surface, at 6 p.m. the following day, K13 tore the bollards out of the barges and sank again, flooding through the hole. The submarine was finally salvaged on 15 March, repaired and recommissioned as HMS K22.
HMS K14; was part of the Battle of May Island exercise on 31 January 1918, in which her steering jammed while avoiding a collision. She was rammed by K22 behind the forward torpedo compartment, but did not sink, and was repaired. Two men were lost.
HMS K15; sank due to an accident, when moored alongside the light cruiser Canterbury at Portsmouth Harbour on 25 June 1921.

(Submarine K-15)

HMS K16; The only incident that occurred with K16 was a sudden dive in Gairloch after her hydroplanes failed. She surfaced successfully.
HMS K17; sank on 31 January 1918 during the night time fleet exercises later known as the Battle of May Island (Operation E.C.1) HMS Fearless ploughed into K17 at the head of a line of submarines. She sank in about 8 minutes with the loss of all hands.

In hindsight, the K-class (Kalamity) submarines were a terrible waste of both money and men. These seventeen ships cost around six million pounds (in 1915) and claimed the lives of hundreds of brave submariners.

For a more in-depth blog of the actual Battle of May island, go to...

http://jamieleith.blogspot.com/2012/01/battle-of-may-island-jan-31st-scotland.html

Thank you for your interest.

The Darien Venture: Today in Scottish History

Ships in the Port of Leith near Edinburgh, 1698

Today marks the 315th anniversary of the launch of the Darien Venture (aka the Darien Scheme), Scotland's monumental disaster born out of a last ditch attempt to save a dying nation . In 1698 England was at war with all of the countries Scotland traded with- blockading the harbors and drying up the much needed supply and demand for Scottish goods. Two bad summers had ruined crops, beggars ate grass, the people were starving. The nation was at its lowest ebb. With a quarter of Scotland’s money circulation invested in the venture, the mission to Darien wasn’t just a get rich quick scheme, not only a last chance for the struggling nation- it was the ultimate ‘Hail Mary’ pass in Scottish history.

Three ships sat in Leith harbour near Edinburgh, and two more anchored off Kirkcaldy-The Unicorn, St Andrew, Caledonia, Endeavour and The Dolphin were the hope of the nation to carve a new trade route to China. 2500 passengers, soldiers and crew awaited the lifting of the anchors...but where were they headed?

It's difficult to believe, but at the time, no one knew the actual destination of the venture; the money had essentially been invested blindly. Because of the fear of English interference the entire plan had been orchestrated with the utmost secrecy concerning the details and actual destination.The Scots who invested in the venture were throwing their passionate support behind the country they loved with no knowledge of the most important details.  Only when Captain Pennecuick reached Madeira and ensured that he was free of English contact was he to formally open the orders to learn the fleet's ultimate destination. They were headed to the Isthmus of  Darien, Panama to establish an overland trade "short cut" with the Eastern world that would replace the hazardous journey around the tip of Cape Horn. 

When I began writing Opportunities: Jamie Leith in Darién I lived in a small cramped space near what was once the bustling Port of Leith.  I walked daily by the Water of Leith, and I imagined it as it must have been in 1698 with the ships of the Darien Venture at anchor in the harbor preparing for the journey. It wasnt long before I was also imagining it through the eyes of an adventurous street urchin and Jamie Leith was born:

In contrast to the quiet streets of the town, the dock was even more crowded than usual. Dockers and ship’s crew milled around on the quayside like partners in some unorganized dance. The difference today was the crowd of passengers, mostly men, who were standing in orderly queues, waiting to be boarded. In comparison to the dock officials, the passengers were a pathetic sight, soaked to the skin from the recent rain. The men who had donned hats for the heavy shower, had removed them, but the women’s bonnets drooped dejectedly. Their baggage lay waterlogged in puddles at their feet. 

“Looks like the Expedition ships are finally getting ready tae sail.” Jamie ambled closer. 

“It’s about time.” Gordon nibbled at the hard apple core. “They’ve been loading them for weeks!” 

Activity increased as they neared the quayside; harbour officials strutted and postured. Orders from both the docks and aboard ship were barked across the morning. “They’ll leave on tonight’s tide, maybe tomorrow’s.” Jamie threw his apple core high into the air, landing in the brown chocolate suspension that was Leith harbour. Twice a day the tide flushed away the stinking mess, but the Water of Leith, while rising clear and clean in the Pentland hills, also passed through Edinburgh. The capital’s sewer then ran down to Leith. 

“Almost like an adventure,” Gordon said. “Not knowing where they’re going.” 

“Best kept secret in town.”

                                                      ~from Opportunities: Jamie Leith in Darién chapter 1 by Ian Hall

The ships separated in bad fog, just days after sailing from Leith. To avoid contact with the English spy ships in the Channel, they had sailed north from Leith, round the northerly tip of Scotland, and round Ireland. Miraculously, they re-united again in Madeira, over five weeks later.

The volunteer colonists, some of whom had paid for their inclusion in the venture, had no idea what they’d signed up for. A seven month monsoon season, food rationing, bad leadership, Spanish attacks, and diseases that would ultimately wipe them out at the rate of ten per day.

Of the almost 4000 who embarked on the three missions to Panama, only 100 returned to Scotland. But on this day in July 315 years ago, their hopes were high, their resolve untested and unbroken, their casualties none.  The Darien Venture was the hope of Scotland. It’s a shame that the reality would prove so severe.

Who IS This Ian Hall Character Anyway?

Don't Panic! If you have landed here from a bookmark and thought you were headed somewhere else, your post isn't gone forever its just been moved... click here: Ian Hall Author Blog to get to the proper blog.

Greetings from the busy desk of the Blog Elves, we're here to inform you of a few more housekeeping changes in the neighborhood.  As mentioned yesterday, the author of the Jamie Leith Chronicles started this blog in support of his sweeping historical adventure series. Things got a bit confusing around here when he began posting updates about all the new genres he was exploring and other bits and bobs of his general Scottish eccentricities. Zombies and Vampires had nothing to do with Scotland's attempt to colonize Panama (as far as we know) but they invaded this blog with a vengeance.  We also discovered that people were beginning to get confused as to who was doing the talking on the blog-who is this Ian character and what is he doing in Jamie Leith's books? 

So, to clarify:Ian Hall is the author, Jamie Leith is the character and we have decided they each need their own blogs.  This blog will continue to thrive with stories and news about the chronicles, general Scottish history and a few discussions about writing process, etc. Jamie Leith is already off on his second adventure away with the Jacobites back home in Scotland and we will be doing some updates on the progress of that second book- tentatively called Rebellion- very soon.   Ian Hall Author now has his very own blog where he can rant about ANYTHING and the vampires have their own space where they can be as bloodthirsty as they like.

Thank you for bearing with us while we sort through the transition- we appreciate your continued readership!

Sincerely,
The Blog Elves

The Vampires Have Got To Go

Please note: If you have landed here from a bookmark and thought you were headed somewhere else,  your post isn't gone forever its just been moved... click here: Vampires Don't Cry to get to the proper blog;)

Its not that we don't love the Vampires, but frankly it has become very confusing around here!  Ten years ago when I started to write the first book in the Jamie Leith Chronicles, it seemed to become my life's ambition to get it completed. It was the only ship on the horizon as it were. 

Then I discovered the amazing world of self publishing, and saw the chance to introduce readers to all of the other genres I have floating around in my head.  I began to collect all the other writings I have stored up and suddenly I have collections!

• Caledonii; The Roman invasion of Scotland, in fact and fiction.
• My "How To" books; how to write a zombie novel, a vampire novel, publish on Kindle, etc
• My recipe books like Soup Yourself Thinner.
• And most recently, my collaboration with April L. Miller first in the Reset Sci-Fi series, and then in the Vampire High School series.

Suddenly this wee blog that I started to chart the progress of my Jamie novels became crowded with all manner of strange characters as I shared my excitement at each new release...it became VERY confusing!  I have decided to claim it back!  The Jamie Leith Chronicles are still alive and well, I am more than halfway through book two and planning extends all the way to a book four (we have to get Jamie to Darien, Georgia so he can help the Scots invent the modern world;). I need to keep room here for all the updates to come.  SO- I have sorted out the beasties from the history and thrown in an all purpose author blog for good measure~

We've decided to call our "vampire realm" Vampires Don't Cry and have settled all our collaborative vampire works, updates, news and quirkery at the Vampires Don't Cry Blog and hope that you 'Vampire Fans' will follow us there as well.  Vampires Don't Cry will itself be a series- a continuation where Vampire High School leaves off- which we'll hopefully reveal in 2014.

There is also a new Ian Hall Author Blog where I wax lyrical about Scotland, writing, Zombies, Sci-Fi and everything else that doesn't fit one of the other two categories, I hope you will stop in there as well. 

And finally, stay tuned here for more of Jamie's adventures...he's a live one that lad, last I checked in on him he was back in Scotland getting to know a lost king...

Americans and the Family Castle in Scotland

Fast (Fause) Castle, Berwickshire, Scotland

I’m Scottish, and I’ve lived in the USA for twelve years. I know my place of birth (Edinburgh) and that of many of my past generations (Ayrshire). It was important to me to know my roots and Americans like to know their origins too. In fact most Americans Ive met are quite keen to know and share their heritage. That’s why when they hear my accent they introduce themselves with the full handshake; “Hi, Troy Haffenberger III, third generation Dutch/Swedish/Irish, from Leningrad!” although there’s not a trace of anything but cold midtown Kansas City in their own mid-western brogue.

As I’ve spoken to thousands of Americans, I'v found that one subject rises to the surface more than most- the Family Castle. I’ve run into it a hundred times. “Oh, we visited Scat-land, and been to Edin-borg, and we visited the Family Castle”, as if you’d just turn up at the front door and demand a cup of coffee and a bed for the week. I mean, come on, not everybody lived in a castle. Well, maybe all Americans did. I digress.

Fast Castle. The drawbridge area is still identifiable, and part of the north wall.

Even after discovering this amusing American quirk, I still considered myself fairly content with my status as a castle-less European. Until last week, when I got a taste of my own medicine. I was browsing Wikipedia, looking at pictures of castles, when I came across Fast Castle, (Fause castle) just north of Coldingham, near the Scottish/English border.

Owners: The Hall family.

Crap. My pet peeve had actually raced behind me and kicked my own butt; I’d actually found my own Family Castle. Now, okay, there’s just a couple of walls left now, but I’ve been to others and never felt the connection that I do to these two bare walls and a piece of rock pointing out into the North Sea. But stories point to the owners dark, nefarious deeds; back in the 1500’s leaving the light on, and encouraging ships to their doom on the rocky shores below, where the wrecking crews patiently gathered. Great information for a historical writer.

One day, I'll go back to those lonely Berwickshire cliffs, and like every true American; visit the family castle.
Beware, you have been warned; this castle will be in one of my books… one day. Watch out for it.

Ian Hall
http://www.ianhallauthor.blogspot.com/

Accuracy: Getting the Facts Right

 

Yes, for once there's no pic of old, dead people..... just me, with one of my young fans (Shayne) at a great book signing. You see, when I read a book, or watch a movie ('film', sorry folks back home) I'm constantly drawn out of the plot by bad continuity, bad acting, stupid plot-lines, or by the bane of my existence... inaccurate history. It wastes the film/movie for me.

Yes, I'm a writer.
Yes, I write historical fiction.
But I'm also a fan of FACTS.

In any of my books, from the 600 page Opportunites: Jamie Leith in Darien in the picture above to our Vampire High School series, accurate facts are researched for almost every paragraph. In my latest book,  A Connecticut Vampire in King Arthur's Court , I bring the two together- vampires and history.

But just because I'm writing in a genre that a lot of people dismiss as 'mush', doesn't mean that the story isn't good, or that the history is not researched. On the contrary, I think I over-research it. Apart from the vampire... every main or sub-character in the book is real; researched, and actually existed. Every town is real. Every historical fact, every action, every house, palace is real. The timeline of my plot is historically accurate to the day, even the hour. I maybe write for an hour, and 'research' for another.

Wikipedia is fantastic, but I've also got an extensive library at home, with many books on the period. When it comes down to it, I want you to be so immersed in my books that you never want them to end. That makes it all worthwhile.

Okay, my rant is over, I'm going back to Christmas Day, 1501.
Have a great day.

For more information on my writing process as well as other rants, please visit my main blog:
Ian Hall Author Blog

If you would like to hear more about the Vampires:

Vampire Don't Cry Blog

Queen Isabella: Columbus Backer and Mother of Catherine of Aragon

Taken from a larger painting, this is Queen Isabella of Spain, quite a woman by all accounts.
She backed the voyage of Christopher Columbus.
She forced the Muslims and Jews either out of Spain, or to convert to Christianity (the invading Muslims gave the Spanish a similar choice, centuries before, but their alternative wasn't exile, it was death.)
And she gave birth to Catherine of Aragon, the wife of both Prince Arthur, and his brother, King Henry the Eighth.
I've been doing a fair amount of research for my new novel "A Connecticut Vampire in King Arthur's Court", and I can only marvel at the lives these powerful people led.
And let's face it, compared to many portraits of the day, Queen Isabella is portrayed as a good looking woman.

Her daughter, Catherine, above, takes that beauty and drapes it in mourner's black for the untimely death of Prince Arthur, Prince of Wales.
In my book, I find Prince Arthur a sickly fifteen year old, but with a name meant to unite England again, and a marriage to the top Princess in Spain, this union was meant to cement relationships, not hinder them.
By the time Prince Henry was fifteen, he lusted after his old sister-in-law so badly, he had to marry her.
Despite King Henry's many affairs, Catherine was pregnant six times, but only once did the child pass the six-day mark; the Princess Mary, who ruled England after Henry's death; the original Bloody Mary.
Research unearths many nuggets, and good books are made of them.
Come see me at; http://www.ianhallauthor.com/

FREE Vampire story on Amazon Kindle

"Behind the Masque" FREE download, Valentine's Day 14th Feb.
YES! The legend of Cinderella is re-worked in a new vampire story, then shamelessly given away for free to coincide with a commercially based excuse to sell greetings cards, chocolate, and furry teddybears holding red hearts.
(Wow, Ian, why don't you get off the fence and tell it as it really is?)
You'd think we'd thrown away our literary pride, burned our university robes, and sold our souls to the very devils we write about... but you'd be wrong.
You see, giving away our Cinderella-esque vampire story for free on Valentines weekend (14th, 15th, 16th Feb) is actually a fiendish plot to introduce a new strain of flu vaccine to an unwary public, far too interested in Beyonce's newest boyfriend to notice or care.
(Whispers from off-stage... "Ian you can't introduce flu vaccine with this FREE vampire story giveaway.")
("Why not?" I ask. "After all, we're hoping to give away thousands of FREE giveaways and get the flu vaccine to millions of countries!")
(Whisper from off-stage... "Because it's an electronic download, Kindle, eBook, you freaking lunatic/idiot/magalomaniac!!")
(I straighten my tie, do the flexy/clicky thing with my fingers, clear my throat, and continue...)
But we have a fiendish plan. Not quite as fiendish and cunning as Baldrick's plans, but we have tried to work 'turnips' into the blog more than once.
"What?" I ask you. "I've only mentioned 'turnips' ONCE so far? Curses!"
But back to the FREE vampire story giveaway.
We've added the first FOUR chapters of our Vampire High School series to the FREE vampire givaway.
"What value!" You chortle. "These guys are amazing!" You enthuse...
(You are the nicest audience!)
So, to conclude... this weekend... 14th, 15th, 16th Feb 2013, there's a FREE vampire Cinderella redux Kindle giveaway. With four FREE chapters from our Vampire High School series.
Available here;
http://www.amazon.com/Behind-The-Masque-ebook/dp/B00AIQENGI/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1360686503&sr=8-4&keywords=behind+masque
You'd be crazy to miss it.

Modern Zombies Only Please, Pre-1929 Need Not Apply.

Having done a fair amount of research for our book "The Zombie Bible", I'm quite amazed that popular culture has fed us with so much dis-information regarding the ominous and shuffling "Living Dead".
So to clarify, here's the history;
"Zombie" is a modern adaption of a Haitian word (Zonbi or Nzumbe). Time magazine claims the original official use of the 'modern' word to be in William Seabrooke's 1929 novel, The Magic Island.
When Victor Halperin directed The White Zombie, in 1932, the name was permanently etched into modern Hollywood history. The film starred Bela Lugosi, of course.
So, the Victorian grave above, so often labeled with a 'Zombie' tag, is far removed from any such possible references to the modern view.
As a preventative against vampires, maybe.
As a precaution against corpse re-animation, Mary Shelley-esque, quite possible.
But as a definitive defense against 'Zombies', sorry, the facts don't pan out.
In actual fact, the headstone in the picture seems to be quite ornate, so the addition of a cage to prevent thievery is far more plausible.
Anyway...
For a modern take on Surviving the Zombie Holocaust as a Zombie, take a look at "The Zombie Bible". Only 99c on eBooks, and available on paperback on Amazon Stores.

Modern Vampire Warning in Serbia

A Blood-lusting Vampire is on the loose in Serbia.

Yeah, when local papers carry stories about vampires, they’re laughed at, or at least given a polite condescending smile. But when a story makes it all the way to the AP (Associated Press) and is on the USAToday website, you’ve got to give it a closer look.

In Zarozje, western Serbia, the town council has given out an official vampire warning.

The story of Sava Savanovic is a Serbian legend, a fairy tale, like Robin Hood or King Arthur. But the Serbs take Sava very seriously indeed, indeed claiming that the man was the very first vampire.

Centuries ago, Sara lived in a mill, and drank the blood of those who came to mill their corn.

The mill was bought by an enterprising man who showed tourists round the ruins in daylight. No one dared stay there at night. The mill owner never maintained the property, fearing that any alteration would curse him forever.

People in the region have indeed died in strange circumstances, but none have claimed to have seen the vampire at work.

When the mill fell so far into disrepair it fell down, the warning was raised.

Sava Savanovic was on the loose, driven from his home, in search of new digs.

Full story here;

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2012/12/01/vampire-serbia/1739615/

Vampire High School goes Paperback!

At last, we've managed to get Vampire High School into paperback format.
It took longer than it should have done, but books 2 and 3 will follow very shortly.
Our thanks go to Carolyn Pinard for editing, to Morgan Chilson for knocking my head against a wall and dislodging all the wayward passive voices, and to all our friends and family who have been so supportive, yawn, yawn, yawn.....
We are so proud of these books, we promise you'll enjoy the finished atricle.
Click the cover to go directly to Createspace to order, or wait a week for Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk to get them in stock.
Thanks guys.
Ian and Lachelle

Global Climate Catastrophe; Glaciers Retreat!

I have no idea why no one has noticed this fact, or if the Climate Scientists are in the bag for big oil.
Glaciers in North America have retreated to some ASTONISHING degree.
It's incontrovertible, it’s measureable, and it’s ON OUR DOORSTEP.
A series of Glaciers, that once covered the whole of the mid-west basin in North America, HAVE RETREATED.
They are not there anymore.
Their waters have been dumped into the basin caused by their millennium of movement, and FIVE NEW Lakes have been created.
(Takes a breath)

Now the above information is incendiary, but it shows beyond reasonable doubt that the world has been warming for the last 10,000 years.
Why should it stop?
Never! It’s not going to. It’s a trend; a 10,000 year trend.
The world’s coming to the boil!
(Takes another breath)

To make matters worse the five new lakes now account for 21% of the world’s fresh water, giving the North American continent an unlawful percentage of water, which will ultimately be the world’s new power source.
It is ridiculous to think that a continent, which uses 26% of the world’s oil, should have such a great monopoly on the world’s fresh water.
(Takes another breath, holds hands on hips and tries to get rid of the stitch in my side))

Okay, I’m all out of sarcasm for the moment. But on a serious note, a bunch of climate scientists have recorded a cooling pattern in the last five years.
Have you heard that? Nope, it doesn’t make for good newspaper copy; it doesn’t get Climate Scientists grants because it doesn’t threaten anyone. It’s not inflammatory, incendiary or radical, so therefore it’s not ‘news’.
Presidents blame drought/flood/storms on Global warming, even when they know it’s not the reason. It just helps/aids/advances their political agenda. We don’t need that kind of leadership anymore.
In the last few years, we’ve learned that politicians lie.
From the recent leaks in the Global Warming community, we now know that some scientists also tell lies.
Let’s stop knee-jerk philosophies that are mired in political tar pits and financial gains.
Let’s stop preaching to kids that our car’s emissions are killing polar bears, while the global polar bear population has doubled since the 1970’s.
I have to stop. I could go on forever.
I hope I made you think. I mean, as a people, we can’t be at war with ourselves, just for the sake of it.
Can we?

Zombie Bible Shows the Path to the Vaccine.

A Brand New collaboration hits the eBookshelves.
The premise? If the chances of being a zombie (after the apocalypse) are 99 out of 100, then why not write a 'Survival Guide' for the actual zombies.
If you have a far greater chance of being a zombie than a human, then why not plan for such an eventuality.
This is exactly what the 'Zombie Bible' does.
First, we set up a series of plans to deal with your oncoming zombie-hood.
Then we examine the processes necessary to survive to the end of the apocalypse when the helicopters deliver the vaccine.
If it were a roast beef dinner, the 'Zombie Bible' would be a huge cut of funny steak, covered in sarcastic gravy, but with a side order of common sense vegetables, and a good cold, straight-talking beer.
Only 99c (77p) in most eBook stores.
Click on the cover to go directly to Amazon.com.

Traditional Scottish Curried Lentil Soup; for Diabetics too!

A healthy choice, but no foo-foo, just a great recipe for traditional Scottish Curried Lentil Soup.
And this is a carbohydrate adjusted soup for diabetics (like me) but leaving out just carbs, not TASTE!

Ingredients; 1lb carrots, 1 lb Rutabaga (turnip/neeps), 1 cauliflower, 4oz RED lentils, 1 Onion, 4 chicken stock cubes (buy Pollo mexican, they're cheaper.... see, told you I was Scottish)
(For Tomato and Lentil soup, just add two tins chopped tomatoes at the start, and reduce water by 1 pint)

Method; Bring to boil 3 pints of water with the stock cubes. Chop Carrots, Rutabaga, WHOLE cauliflower and onion; add to the boiling stock, cover, and boil sharply for an hour. Turn down the heat, and add RED lentils, boil GENTLY for an hour, stirring frequently.

That's the soup ready..... for wimps!
(Or traditionalists; The soup is actually ready to eat at this point, and totally traditional Scottish fare.)
And for diabetics, the cauliflower tastes just like the potatoes that "should" have been added, but the carbs have been almost totally wiped out.
(Yes, I know that lentils, carrots and rutabaga have carbs, but not much.)

Now for the 'special' ingredients;

You can add....... 2 tablespoons curry powder..... for Curried Lentil Soup.
You can add....... 5 tablespoons curry powder..... for REALLY Curried Lentil Soup
You can add....... a huge dollop of A1 sauce, Worcester sauce, (or any other stuff you might think appeals).
Parmesan cheese is good, ginger spice, turmeric, saffron, absinthe, ground mammoth tusks, rhino horn; whatever warms the cockles of your heart.

And whatever you do, DON'T listen to the idiots that think you can make this with any old lentils.... I'm a Manchester United Supporter.... THEY HAVE TO BE RED LENTILS!!!
(Please trust me on this... I don't have shares in the "Red Lentil Co."; crappy green/brown lentils taste like dirt when they're cooked.)
For more recipes, look at the last post, or hit the "Soup Yourself Thinner" book, on the carousel on the right.

Carbohydrate Intolerance; How Diabetics can cope.

Carbohydrate Intolerance is one of the new buzzphrases that seems to catch the ear.
"What's it all about?" I hear you say, right on cue.
Basically, a person suffering from Carbohydrate Intolerance can't process carbs efficiently. Not that a 'normal' person would notice, of course, there's no symptoms, you don't turn green overnight or anything.
Some diabetics notice though.
Some of us have the double whammy; Diabetes AND Carbohydrate Intolerance.
If you have both these conditions, even a small amount of carbs can knock the blood sugar of a diabetic over the 200 mark for as long as 18 hours, thus rendering their whole day a catastrophe.
Your blood numbers stay high, despite your seemingly great efforts.
I found out the hard way; I tracked my carb intake, and set out to make carb-free soups; that soon outlined the problem. My blood numbers fell almost overnight.
So, I didn't waste any time; after three months of great sugar numbers, I'm telling you all the secret.
Inside the book, there's my personal story, then the soup method explained in depth, then a bunch of delicious soup recipes. (And a couple of stews and chili's too)
Click on the book cover to go straight to Amazon.

Scottish Vampire; Braveheart with Fangs!

The Scottish Vampire; is there room in this already littered genre for such a story?

I, personally, think there is.

Scottish mythology is filled with fairies, water sprites and banshees, perhaps this is the vampire myth coming to rest on the heather-covered hills.

The Irish Banshee is transfered to Scottish culture as the Baobhan Sith; the Ba'van-shee.

According to legend, once a year, the Ba'van-shee rises from her grave. In the form of a beautiful woman, clad in a green flowing dress, the creature roams the woods and forests by night to feed on young men.

Sometimes acting alone, they also combine into hunting parties, seducing men into drink and dancing, ultimately drinking their blood.

Sure sounds like a vampire legend to me!

Anyway, I'm currently 40,000 words into the project, and wondered what the cover would look like.

I'm not sure that Mel Gibson would donate his picture, but he does look good with fangs!



Wedding Tiaras and Circlets

Yup; making bridal crowns is actually what I do for a living.
Just thought I'd take a breather from the selfless plugging of books and all things Scottish to give you a glimpse into my "day-job".
I make bridal and renaissance crowns and circlets.
All are made from scratch, made to order, and are customisable into any shape, style or color you can imagine.
You'll find them at www.perncirclets.etsy.com
AND, if that wasn't enough, we're having a 20% off sale on our artfire shop;
www.thyme2dream.artfire.com
Come on into the shop, take a browse around, and even get a bit of bling to take away!

More Balls (Bollocks) than Braveheart!

"More Balls than Braveheart?" I hear you say. But it's true.
"Bollocks!" I hear you say, having seen the newest Newcastle Brown commercial.
(Bollocks is actually a double edged compliment; it can mean good and bad stuff)
So, back to the blog.....
Mel Gibson (The Braveheart part) only took on the meagre English Army.
(And the French were beating them... they were almost relegated to Army Division two!)
Anyway...
Calach (Calgacus), the leader of the Northern Celts (Scottish) fought the might of the Roman Empire...
And won!
A true story, steeped in intrigue, shrouded in mist, covered in blood, and smelling of bulls*#t.
Ok, it's "my" interpretation of what I think could have been the true story.
(But well researched, just the same)
The true story of Scotland's first hero.
Let's face it; something made the Romans build Hadrian's wall; and it wasn't the need to keep the sheep out!
Caledonii. Birth of a Celtic Nation; available on eBooks wherever they're sold.
Parts 1-4 now available.
Part 5 being written as soon as I finish this blog.
Yours
Ian Hall