Modern Zombies Only Please, Pre-1929 Need Not Apply.

Having done a fair amount of research for our book "The Zombie Bible", I'm quite amazed that popular culture has fed us with so much dis-information regarding the ominous and shuffling "Living Dead".
So to clarify, here's the history;
"Zombie" is a modern adaption of a Haitian word (Zonbi or Nzumbe). Time magazine claims the original official use of the 'modern' word to be in William Seabrooke's 1929 novel, The Magic Island.
When Victor Halperin directed The White Zombie, in 1932, the name was permanently etched into modern Hollywood history. The film starred Bela Lugosi, of course.
So, the Victorian grave above, so often labeled with a 'Zombie' tag, is far removed from any such possible references to the modern view.
As a preventative against vampires, maybe.
As a precaution against corpse re-animation, Mary Shelley-esque, quite possible.
But as a definitive defense against 'Zombies', sorry, the facts don't pan out.
In actual fact, the headstone in the picture seems to be quite ornate, so the addition of a cage to prevent thievery is far more plausible.
Anyway...
For a modern take on Surviving the Zombie Holocaust as a Zombie, take a look at "The Zombie Bible". Only 99c on eBooks, and available on paperback on Amazon Stores.

Modern Vampire Warning in Serbia

A Blood-lusting Vampire is on the loose in Serbia.

Yeah, when local papers carry stories about vampires, they’re laughed at, or at least given a polite condescending smile. But when a story makes it all the way to the AP (Associated Press) and is on the USAToday website, you’ve got to give it a closer look.

In Zarozje, western Serbia, the town council has given out an official vampire warning.

The story of Sava Savanovic is a Serbian legend, a fairy tale, like Robin Hood or King Arthur. But the Serbs take Sava very seriously indeed, indeed claiming that the man was the very first vampire.

Centuries ago, Sara lived in a mill, and drank the blood of those who came to mill their corn.

The mill was bought by an enterprising man who showed tourists round the ruins in daylight. No one dared stay there at night. The mill owner never maintained the property, fearing that any alteration would curse him forever.

People in the region have indeed died in strange circumstances, but none have claimed to have seen the vampire at work.

When the mill fell so far into disrepair it fell down, the warning was raised.

Sava Savanovic was on the loose, driven from his home, in search of new digs.

Full story here;

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2012/12/01/vampire-serbia/1739615/

Vampire High School goes Paperback!

At last, we've managed to get Vampire High School into paperback format.
It took longer than it should have done, but books 2 and 3 will follow very shortly.
Our thanks go to Carolyn Pinard for editing, to Morgan Chilson for knocking my head against a wall and dislodging all the wayward passive voices, and to all our friends and family who have been so supportive, yawn, yawn, yawn.....
We are so proud of these books, we promise you'll enjoy the finished atricle.
Click the cover to go directly to Createspace to order, or wait a week for Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk to get them in stock.
Thanks guys.
Ian and Lachelle

Global Climate Catastrophe; Glaciers Retreat!

I have no idea why no one has noticed this fact, or if the Climate Scientists are in the bag for big oil.
Glaciers in North America have retreated to some ASTONISHING degree.
It's incontrovertible, it’s measureable, and it’s ON OUR DOORSTEP.
A series of Glaciers, that once covered the whole of the mid-west basin in North America, HAVE RETREATED.
They are not there anymore.
Their waters have been dumped into the basin caused by their millennium of movement, and FIVE NEW Lakes have been created.
(Takes a breath)

Now the above information is incendiary, but it shows beyond reasonable doubt that the world has been warming for the last 10,000 years.
Why should it stop?
Never! It’s not going to. It’s a trend; a 10,000 year trend.
The world’s coming to the boil!
(Takes another breath)

To make matters worse the five new lakes now account for 21% of the world’s fresh water, giving the North American continent an unlawful percentage of water, which will ultimately be the world’s new power source.
It is ridiculous to think that a continent, which uses 26% of the world’s oil, should have such a great monopoly on the world’s fresh water.
(Takes another breath, holds hands on hips and tries to get rid of the stitch in my side))

Okay, I’m all out of sarcasm for the moment. But on a serious note, a bunch of climate scientists have recorded a cooling pattern in the last five years.
Have you heard that? Nope, it doesn’t make for good newspaper copy; it doesn’t get Climate Scientists grants because it doesn’t threaten anyone. It’s not inflammatory, incendiary or radical, so therefore it’s not ‘news’.
Presidents blame drought/flood/storms on Global warming, even when they know it’s not the reason. It just helps/aids/advances their political agenda. We don’t need that kind of leadership anymore.
In the last few years, we’ve learned that politicians lie.
From the recent leaks in the Global Warming community, we now know that some scientists also tell lies.
Let’s stop knee-jerk philosophies that are mired in political tar pits and financial gains.
Let’s stop preaching to kids that our car’s emissions are killing polar bears, while the global polar bear population has doubled since the 1970’s.
I have to stop. I could go on forever.
I hope I made you think. I mean, as a people, we can’t be at war with ourselves, just for the sake of it.
Can we?

Zombie Bible Shows the Path to the Vaccine.

A Brand New collaboration hits the eBookshelves.
The premise? If the chances of being a zombie (after the apocalypse) are 99 out of 100, then why not write a 'Survival Guide' for the actual zombies.
If you have a far greater chance of being a zombie than a human, then why not plan for such an eventuality.
This is exactly what the 'Zombie Bible' does.
First, we set up a series of plans to deal with your oncoming zombie-hood.
Then we examine the processes necessary to survive to the end of the apocalypse when the helicopters deliver the vaccine.
If it were a roast beef dinner, the 'Zombie Bible' would be a huge cut of funny steak, covered in sarcastic gravy, but with a side order of common sense vegetables, and a good cold, straight-talking beer.
Only 99c (77p) in most eBook stores.
Click on the cover to go directly to Amazon.com.

Traditional Scottish Curried Lentil Soup; for Diabetics too!

A healthy choice, but no foo-foo, just a great recipe for traditional Scottish Curried Lentil Soup.
And this is a carbohydrate adjusted soup for diabetics (like me) but leaving out just carbs, not TASTE!

Ingredients; 1lb carrots, 1 lb Rutabaga (turnip/neeps), 1 cauliflower, 4oz RED lentils, 1 Onion, 4 chicken stock cubes (buy Pollo mexican, they're cheaper.... see, told you I was Scottish)
(For Tomato and Lentil soup, just add two tins chopped tomatoes at the start, and reduce water by 1 pint)

Method; Bring to boil 3 pints of water with the stock cubes. Chop Carrots, Rutabaga, WHOLE cauliflower and onion; add to the boiling stock, cover, and boil sharply for an hour. Turn down the heat, and add RED lentils, boil GENTLY for an hour, stirring frequently.

That's the soup ready..... for wimps!
(Or traditionalists; The soup is actually ready to eat at this point, and totally traditional Scottish fare.)
And for diabetics, the cauliflower tastes just like the potatoes that "should" have been added, but the carbs have been almost totally wiped out.
(Yes, I know that lentils, carrots and rutabaga have carbs, but not much.)

Now for the 'special' ingredients;

You can add....... 2 tablespoons curry powder..... for Curried Lentil Soup.
You can add....... 5 tablespoons curry powder..... for REALLY Curried Lentil Soup
You can add....... a huge dollop of A1 sauce, Worcester sauce, (or any other stuff you might think appeals).
Parmesan cheese is good, ginger spice, turmeric, saffron, absinthe, ground mammoth tusks, rhino horn; whatever warms the cockles of your heart.

And whatever you do, DON'T listen to the idiots that think you can make this with any old lentils.... I'm a Manchester United Supporter.... THEY HAVE TO BE RED LENTILS!!!
(Please trust me on this... I don't have shares in the "Red Lentil Co."; crappy green/brown lentils taste like dirt when they're cooked.)
For more recipes, look at the last post, or hit the "Soup Yourself Thinner" book, on the carousel on the right.

Carbohydrate Intolerance; How Diabetics can cope.

Carbohydrate Intolerance is one of the new buzzphrases that seems to catch the ear.
"What's it all about?" I hear you say, right on cue.
Basically, a person suffering from Carbohydrate Intolerance can't process carbs efficiently. Not that a 'normal' person would notice, of course, there's no symptoms, you don't turn green overnight or anything.
Some diabetics notice though.
Some of us have the double whammy; Diabetes AND Carbohydrate Intolerance.
If you have both these conditions, even a small amount of carbs can knock the blood sugar of a diabetic over the 200 mark for as long as 18 hours, thus rendering their whole day a catastrophe.
Your blood numbers stay high, despite your seemingly great efforts.
I found out the hard way; I tracked my carb intake, and set out to make carb-free soups; that soon outlined the problem. My blood numbers fell almost overnight.
So, I didn't waste any time; after three months of great sugar numbers, I'm telling you all the secret.
Inside the book, there's my personal story, then the soup method explained in depth, then a bunch of delicious soup recipes. (And a couple of stews and chili's too)
Click on the book cover to go straight to Amazon.